did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
