youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
