I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
