Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
