I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
