So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize