So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
