We named our party play list daddy issues
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
