Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
third nipple confirmed
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
