I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
