His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
