i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
