Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
