she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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