I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
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