so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
