Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
