Quick, to the slutcave!
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Your penis caused this!
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