i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
