i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
