the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
