I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
