Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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