what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
A bitchslap is in order.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
