Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
