Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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