Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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