do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
