Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
