Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
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