Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
