yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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