Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
