ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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