i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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