Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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