So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
