You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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