All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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