i just made my gag reflex go away.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
A+ Viking dick
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
