My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
