Don't you send me to vm
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
