anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
