you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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