As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
meet me or not, i'm out of control
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
