no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
