did you get engaged???
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
