After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
i now understand why vodka
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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