i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
