they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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