Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
