I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
