Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
