But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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