there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
