did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
