I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I stole a fireplace last night.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Randomize