4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
