it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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