My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm at about main and main street
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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