Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
