we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize